Monday, January 3, 2011

New Year's resolutions public figures did and didn't keep in 2010

By Elizabeth Flock and Sam Sanders
From the enduring fame of Jersey Shore's Mike "The Situation" to West Coast Chopper's Jesse James dropping Sandra Bullock for a tattoo model, this year was full of surprises from actors, musicians, pundits and political figures. But if the mania over Glee's covers teaches us anything, it's that as much as some things change, they also stay the same.
We got to wondering what kind of resolutions folks would have made, and came up with a list of "resolutions" kept and broken in 2010.

The five resolutions they kept:
1. Miley Cyrus, of salvia bong and racy video fame:
Become trashy.
2. Bill and Hillary Clinton, power couple:
Rule the world.
3. Joaquin Phoenix, who may or may not have faked his documentary:                 Become a method actor.
4. Snooki, the mascot of Jersey Shore:
Get famous, become BFFs with John McCain.
5. Glenn Beck, pundit, author, rally-holder:
Bring the word "nazi" back into the national discourse

The five they didn't keep:
1. John Boehner, new speaker of the house:
Don't cry.
2. Willow Smith, soon to usurp her father as coolest member of the Smith brood:
Get Malia and Sasha to whip their hair.
3. Wyclef Jean, musician, record producer, politician?:
Become president of Haiti.
4. Tiger Woods, professional golfer and scamster:
Be a role model.
5. Paula Abdul, nicest American Idol judge:
Continue to convince America of my relevance.

No comments:

Post a Comment